you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
