One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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