My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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