i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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