why didn't you poke me back
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
