I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
