bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you traded sex for a burrito?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
