...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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