I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
