He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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