This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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