Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
