I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
