dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
