Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
