ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize
