remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
