i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
