Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
