Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
