Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
