Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
