they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
