Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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