I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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