i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
