yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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