The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
