i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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