maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
