Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize