is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
