yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
