No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
