he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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