i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My bed is full of blood and feathers
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
