i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize