Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
