; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
