two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
