i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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