woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
