Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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