i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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