tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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