I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
True college students do jello shots in the library
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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