Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
