You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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