That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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