soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
