I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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