the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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