think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
