That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Randomize
