If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize