He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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