Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
