I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
