dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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