I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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