No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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