Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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